I am almost uncomfortable writing you this letter, because I haven't talked to you in such an intimate loving way in so long. Too long , actually. You see, out of fear I haven't said to you the very words you've been needing to hear. So let me get right to it, before some distraction comes and snatches up all the courage I have mustered to write this. You are worthy of love. I know both my actions and words have told you different for years and years, but YOU DEAR ONE ARE WORTHY OF LOVE. True love is unconditional. I have come to believe that any other kind of "love" is not really love at all, but a very well disguised version of hate. I don't want to hate you anymore. I never want to hate you again! I only want to have the real kind of love. The kind that says no matter how many dumb things you say, or wrong decisions you make , you are still worthy. The kind that CHOOSES to embrace you, even when you feel there is no reason for me to.
" Love is patient, love is kind..." I want to be patient with you. I want to understand that you are learning just like everybody else. That you are on a journey. I want to be kind to you. I want you to know that even if you feel like the whole world is against you, I am on your team. I want to delight in the process of you growing into the woman you were meant to be. I'm so sorry for coming against you so often. I'm sorry for letting insecurity, pain, fear, disappointment, anger lead me to say things to you, that you never should have heard anyone say . I'm sorry for not protecting you , I let you listen to things that told you that you weren't enough. Things that left you feeling like you had a lack that was impossible to fill. I'm sorry for telling you that unless you met an unrealistic standard , you could not be loved. I'm sorry for REFUSING to love you, and REFUSING to let others love you, when it was what you needed the most. I'm sorry for letting you live in the lie, that holding back encouragement, love, grace and patience would help you accomplish the things I thought you were doing wrong. All along it was really those things you needed. Those things that would propel you into an understanding of God the Father and the meaning of grace. The things I withheld from you, are the things that were meant to give you the boldness to change the world, and the faith to walk open handed into your destiny. Your Destiny. Let me tell you, your destiny loved one, has been written in eternity. It is one that is so full of goodness, passion, love, adventure and glory, there are angels assigned to making sure you get to experience it. From the begging of time as we know it, you have been on the heart and Mind of the most holy family of all time. There has been a war for your soul, because a lover will die for the one He loves and that He did.
You really are beautiful. I know, you're probably looking down and thinking of all the times and ways I have told you the opposite, but I didn't know what I know now. I didn't realize that you literally radiate beauty. It's written on your heart in such a way, that you can't help but make things beautiful. People are drawn to you everywhere you go, because the Delight God has in you shines on your face. Jordan, from now on I am going to protect you. I am going to remind you everyday that you are chosen. That you are loved, cherished, valuable, important, that His thoughts about you are more numerous then the grains of sand. The funny thing about sand is that more is always being made! The thoughts He has for you are LITERALLY never ending. You are incredible. You make people want to know Jesus. You are going to change nations. There is NOTHING , I mean NOTHING you COULD EVER DO, that will make you worthy of hate. I know this, because truth Himself told me so, and how scary a thought it would be to disagree with Him. I don't know what this will all look like, but I know that I refuse to go back to the way things were. I will do everything I know how to love you, and will constantly be open to new even better ways of doing so. I will let other people love you, and even reassure you of the reasons why they do when you start to doubt. I can't promise I will never let you down, but I can promise that it will only be better from here. The truth is if I can't love you, then I can't fufill the second greatest commandment of all time. " Love others as you ..."
Love,
Yourself
